Welcome: You have come upon a blog discussing tools to help dyslexics and hyperlexics. I have both conditions. The topic, this time, is holding strong in an emotional situation.
I have noticed that dyslexics and hyperlexics, myself included, can be highly charged when confronted with an emotional situation that seems unfair, uncalled for, or doesn’t reflect the facts as seen by the dyslexic/hyperlexic.
I am always searching for tools to help me master this challenge more effectively. Recently I read a blog which, I feel, provides a good approach. The author, Pam Stuckey, Body/Sense Blog. http://bodysenseblog.typepad.co has given me reprint permission.
Hurtful confrontations often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we may wonder what we did to rouse their anger, and we take their actions personally. We may ask ourselves what we could have done to compel them to behave or speak that way toward us.
It’s important to remember that there are no real targets in an emotional attack and that it is usually a way for the attacker to redirect their uncomfortable feelings away from themselves. When people are overcome by strong emotions, like hurt or anguish, they may see themselves as victims and lash out at others as a means of protection or to make themselves feel better.
You may be able to shield yourself from an emotional attack by not taking the behavior personally. First, however, it is good to cultivate a state of detachment that can provide you with some protection from the person who is attacking you. This will allow you to feel compassion for this person and remember that their behavior isn’t as much about you as it is about their need to vent their emotions.
If you have difficulty remaining unaffected by someone’s behavior, take a moment to breathe deeply and remind yourself that you didn’t do anything wrong, and you aren’t responsible for people’s feelings. If you can see that this person is indirectly expressing a need to you—whether they are reaching out for help or wanting to be heard—you may be able to diffuse the attack by getting them to talk about what is really bothering them.
You cannot control other people’s emotions, but you can control your own. If you sense yourself responding to their negativity, try not to let yourself. Keep your heart open to them, and they may let go of their defensiveness and yield to your compassion and openness.
Pam Stuckey, Body/Sense Blog. http://bodysenseblog.typepad.co
If you have topics that you would like me to address about my experience in overcoming dyslexia and hyperlexia feel free to send your ideas through the comments below.
Information on this blog is intended to complement, not replace, the advice of your own physician or health care professional